Microchipping – Good for Your Dog, Great for Your Kid?

April 26, 2016

As a father of four I have long struggled with keeping an eye on my kids. Now that they are teenagers, I “rely” on them to keep me informed of their various locations via text messages (really, what teenager would actually speak to their father on the kid pictures fall 2005 031telephone?). Frankly, of the four of them I have a pretty good idea where one of them is, a vague idea where another one is, and absolutely no idea where the other two are (so much for relying on a teenager). When they were much, much younger I remember getting scolded by a mom at the San Francisco Zoo because I had one kid in a stroller and the other three on leashes (yes, it’s true), but chasing after 3 toddlers while pushing a stroller was beyond my skill set. With that by way of background, you’ll understand why I was an early and vocal advocate for microchipping children.

Sure, some “nice” parents might scoff at this idea, but if we’re comfortable with putting a small microchip in our pets (which many refer to as their children), why are we less comfortable putting one in our two-legged kids? It seems like a natural development in this age of enhanced inventory control (what, you don’t refer to your kids as household inventory items?). Sadly, there is a downside to this approach, because once you register your kid’s microchip you’ve lost plausible deniability should you ever want to ditch your child somewhere.

Ok, so you’re one of those responsible parents who can’t believe that I would even suggest this idea, but here’s a fall back option: microchip your dog and make sure that your child and your dog are always together.  It worked just fine for a lost 2 year old in Missouri who wandered off from her home and was reunited when police officers scanned the microchip in her cockapoo that had wandered off with her and brought them both home. Frankly, I usually don’t like settling for second best solutions, but maybe in this case I would consider making an exception.

Thanks for reading.

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